May: A Month of Joy, Grief, Fear, and Hope

As May comes to an end, I realize it has carried a heavy weight on me.

It began with May Day, a celebration of labor, the only thing that truly belongs to us, and yet, the very thing most exploited from us.

Then came the birthdays of Karl Marx and then, I found myself watching Viduthalai Part 2 again , and also Andor and Rogue One from Star Wars. Something shifted in me after that. The joy was intense. For a moment, I felt there is a way out of all this ,a different kind of hope.

There were also my friend's birthdays on the line in May. This month felt like a complete celebration . 

But soon, the month turned heavy.

Mullivaikkal Remembrance Day brought the deep grief of genocide and  just as we mourned that past, we are witnessing another ongoing genocide in Gaza.

I have felt fear too ,the fear is very personal.Fear of not being able to face even the smallest problems in my own life. I realized how vulnerable I am and even the simple things shook me to the depths of despair. 

And still, somewhere in all that, I read a few books and blogs. I learned some tech stuff. I created a few things just for myself. Maybe grief and fear made me do it and I’m not sure. But I did it.

I never imagined May could hold this much things into it. I had never paid attention to it like this in past years .
But this time, I did , maybe because of May Day , since it begins with labor, with us.

At the end of May , I understand 

May is our month ,bcoz it has the same connections as like we do . 
It helps us remember who we are, where we are, how much we've lost and yet how much we can still do.

May reminds us what we must continue to stand for.

Thank you May .
I hope I will be more resilient and joyful when I meet you Next Year .
For Me ,you are my New Year and for everyone else who are me.

With Love,
Dhanasekar .